CCSSite:Opinions

12/30/2022

Wow. 2022 was a busy year. I continued my exploration of neurodivergence, rekindled my love for 3D creation, moved to yet another county in my state.

First, a personal exploration update. I’m leaning quite heavily to an AuDHD (Autustic and ADHD) neurotype for myself. Yes, I still have my doubts and fear of settling on the wrong thing, but the more I explore, the more I see myself in other’s experiences (and my experiences in how others describe traits). I think I manage okay, but a number of things remain difficult for me—at different times. Peopling being one of those things that I’ve been analyzing a bunch lately and how I cope with social situations.

I finally got up the nerve to ask my medical provider about assessment, but was told I’d need to go elsewhere and pay out of pocket. This was quite unsettling after being told they offered them and then being subjected to a barage of questions about my current mental health and history. It really emphasizes the validity of self-diagnosis when access to professionals is limited.

So. 3D. Three dimensions. a way to describe our existence in the world. I’ve finally fallen in love with Blender. I spent a little bit of time trying to figure it out many years ago, but it was just too complicated. Now with a slightly more polished UI and access to a trove of YouTube tutorials, I’ve gotten quite a handle on this very un–Mac-like bit of software. It’s really quite powerful, and I appreciate having access to what it has to offer. I’ve been doing things for my D&D campaign, for personal exploration, and even a bit for work.

So far I’ve learned modeling, materials application, rigging (ha ha, barely), and animation (again, just barely). The potential to do great things is there. I feel like I have a lot more I can accomplish than I could with some of the older open source/freeware/shareware software I tried in the past that was more Mac-like. So much of knowing how to use Blender lies in knowing keyboard shortcuts and commands. I should add more to my personal site…

Fianlly, on moving to a new county. The weather is a bit different. The bugs are different (and a bit more plentiful in some ways). My access to friends is also different (they are once again further away). I seem to keep moving away from friends. I’m out of the more rural area, but futher out from where I developed friend groups. I seem to not maintain close friendships for long. I’ll be close to a small number of people, but when proximity changes (or they move away), I find that I’m less involved in their lives. This also seems to happen when I have a live-in romantic partner. I may tend to glomp onto them, or maybe focus on prioritizing spending time with them to avoid conflict? Is this something folks tend to worry about?

I’ve been more focused on nesting (my girlfriend is really into making a home), and it’s been a while since I’ve focused on unpacking as much as I can. I’ve generally been content to live out of boxes until I find that “forever” home. I was hoping to find that this year, but buying houses is hard and interest rates are not exactly favorable to that now. One day I guess I hope to, just to find a spot I’m happy to be at without fear about displacement. Part of that goal is to participate in the Landback vision.

Whew! Just managed to squeak in a post for 2022! See you in 2023!