CCSSite:Opinions

7/31/2025

I remember reading about this Chinese blessing/curse in (IIRC) my Teach Yourself Java for Macintosh in 21 Days book: “May you live in interesting times.” These are the most interesting times I’ve lived in, I must say.

So, here we are. We definitely done did it again. I did not expect to live through horrific genocide that I helped to fund. I did not expect to be considering being genocided in a worse outcome future. It’s all highly upsetting and I’ve been overwhelmed with trying to do my part to help people survive. But it doesnt’t feel like enough. Nothing feels like enough.

I find myself longing for a more ignorant time on my part—to slip into a little all consuming consumption for a little bit. To disconnect and actually feel free. Being so connected to everything just makes that feel more impossible. I’ve had some little moments of getting lost in old Macintosh revelry, comforting TV shows, but I really can’t fully let go. I can’t give myself permission to.

Also, generative AI is in ALL THE THINGS and I hate it with such a passion. Only a little while ago I was ambivelant at worst, and perhaps a little optimistic at best. But of course capitalism and consumerism just means more trashing our environment for ease and money at the expense of quality. It was fine as a little novelty. I could even see it as a visualization tool to aid in your personal research (I’m thinking Star Trek again), but now we’re letting the computers take over again. Junk email wasn’t enough, I guess. I just might be hating the internet and technology in general. Everything is so ridiculously complicated and we’re pressured to keep up the pace—pushing people into using generative “tools” as a shortcut. *sigh*

I just want to grow food in my garden. For myself. For others. I just want to return to focusing on what really matters for survival. Maybe a little art when I have the chance. I feel like I used to create more.

I’ve come across a lot of lovely short films on Vimeo. So much more intriguing than what we get in the like-and-subscribe-sponsored-by segues of YouTube. Some of the videos I used to really enjoy seeing was of people working on cool projects or doing fun comedy skits that didn’t feel like content churn for the ad money clicks. I’m so jaded on what our world has become when I look back to things I was able to experience a few years ago. I think I’m also just failing to people properly…

I appreciate having folks in my life who still care about others. That part is nice at least.